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The Velvet Express Review

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Set in the glorious period of the 1830s when men were men and women just bent over (?) The Velvet Express is a 3D sex-sim game that celebrates the golden age of travel. Step aboard this steam train of saucy harlots and enjoy exploring the carriages to find woman after woman who is looking to kill some time on the journey.

In this review, we take a closer look at The Velvet Express and find out whether this adult sex-sim for the PC is worth it’s price tag.

What is The Velvet Express?

Released by Artmunk Games, The Velvet Express is an advanced sex-simulation game for the PC.

the velvet express review sex game

Set on board a steam locomotive in the Golden Age of the Railways (1830s), The Velvet Express offers an interactive 3D world in which you can control the characters and record the resulting sex sessions.

It was originally released in 2012 which isn’t that long ago but the games industry has moved on considerably in terms of graphics and technology so The Velvet Express does seem a little ‘retro’ by the standards of some of the new kids on the block.

Despite the age of the game, it still offers a good interactive virtual sex sim experience, featuring:

  • Realistic 3D sex using a physics driven, animation system.
  • Imaginative scenery.
  • Fully movable camera to ‘film’ the action.
  • Well detailed avatars.
  • Almost 60 sexual positions.
  • Multiple male characters to chose from and four different female characters to bed.

Based in the Netherlands, Artmunk Games has developed several 3D adult titles over the years including:

  • Encyclopaedia of Sex – improve your sex IQ with this comprehensively instructional and educational 3D adult game. It was one of the first sex games available for Mac OS.
  • Lovechess: Salvage – based around the simple but challenging game of chess, this 3D animated sex sim allows players to reinvent the rules.
  • Lovechess: Age of Egypt – extending the Lovechess premise but embracing the highly erotic Ancient Egyptian age, this game will let you be the Grand Master at more than just a board game.
lovechess salvage artmunk games

There’s more than one way to pin a queen in Lovechess Salvage.

Playing The Velvet Express

Set aboard the fictional steam train, ‘The Velvet Express, the game starts when you select one of the male avatars to play. It’s a free-roaming game and you can explore the train cars and carriages using the directional arrows on your computer keyboard (left, right, forward and backward). In a world where gaming is predominantly controlled via a mouse, touch screen or even VR, this can be pretty retro for some gamers and takes a little while to get used to.

When you find a female passenger that you can interact with she will stand up to signifiy she is ‘in-play’. Then, basically, you just start having sex with her. No small talk, no seduction and no challenge really.

The sex is controlled using your mouse and you can use the menu to vary the positions (each female character comes with a varying choice of basic, and gymnastic, moves.

Once started, you can move the camera to view your work and record the action for future…erm, ‘edification’!

the velvet express review

In total there are almost 60 sexual positions available to try out during the course of the game and some are quite complex in their mastery which can make for some interesting video clips. Of course, there is the usual missionary, doggie style and cowgirl plus blowjobs and dining at the Y.

The rendering of the characters is nicely detailed but will lack the explosive quality that makes the graphics on some other titles ‘pop’ from the screen. However, they are still pretty good and are very erotic to watch.

The scenes in The Velvet Express are very nicely put together and the developers have spent some time creating a detailed backdrop for the characters. There is also some attention to detail in props and you can find some areas where the sex can include additional items and even furniture.

As for sound quality, there is no voice acting but the game does feature an ‘olde time’ piano score which is quite evocative of the era but can get a little annoying…just like a lot of in-game soundtracks really. Sound effect wise, there is a disturbing lack of ‘feedback’ from your female partners apart from the odd panting and occasional moan.

The Velvet Express: Technical Specifications

The Velvet Express is only available for Windows PC with the following specifications being the minimum requirement to play:

  • Windows XP/Vista/Windows 7+
  • Pentium IV 1.4Ghz or AMD Athlon 1.4Ghz or better
  • Minimum Screen Resolution: 1024×768
  • Sound: DirectX(r) 9 sound device
  • Memory: Minimal 512 MB
  • 3D Hardware accelerator card required (DirectX 9.0c compatible)
  • 128Mb VideoRAM

Recorded clips are rendered in AVI and are compatible with media editors/players like Windows Movie Maker and Windows Media Player.

review the velvet express 3d sex sim

What Does Playing The Velvet Express Cost?

The Velvet Express doesn’t require any ongoing subscription costs to be able to play and is available to download as a standalone PC game.

The current price is $19.99 but you can also buy some of Artmunk’s other titles along with this one in bundles:

  • Encyclopaedia of Sex and The Velvet Express – $34.99
  • Lovechess: Age of Egypt and The Velvet Express – $29.99

The Velvet Express: We say…

The Velvet Express is gothic looking game that has a touch of the Wild West about some of the graphics. Speaking of which, the animations are nowhere near as slick as those you might find in more recent 3D adult game development such as Dream Sex World or Sex World 3D, both of which offer full UHD 4K graphics.

These two titles also feature full customization which, sadly, The Velvet Express does not. Nor does this game offer as comprehensive a range of sexual positions, in fact there is no option for anal sex, you can’t enjoy a threesome and there are also no cum-shots.

Having said all this, what you do get with The Velvet Express is a well-designed environment with some attractive scenery and actually quite a varied range of sexual positions. There are also some very novel and highly imaginative props and furniture in play here which include steam-punk inspired mechanical sex swing/spider, inflatable dolls and stocks.

the velvet express review 3d adult game

Overall, The Velvet Express is no a retro adult 3D game and as long as you lower your expectations for the graphics, it is still an enjoyable way to game if you want your action to be adult. For the price, it is pretty good value and, being standalone, you don’t have to worry about subscription costs, expansion packs or even being connected to the internet. We did enjoy playing the game and found a few hours slipped through our fingers before we came to write our review. However, we think that this was probably the limit of its gameplay for one session as, without any storyline to speak of or missions to complete, you are left with a 3D sex-sim that is a bit one-dimensional.

As a summary, we’d say that The Velvet Express offers enough heat to get you hot under the collar but runs out of steam after a while.

All featured images via Artmunk Games.

Staff Writer

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