Want to make sex more memorable for you and her?
There’s lots of ways to bring yourself and your partner to orgasm but not all climaxes are created equally. Sure, you can cum but can you make an orgasm super-intense? The simple answer is yes, you can heighten the physical, mental and emotional experience of an orgasm using a range of methods, techniques and accessories.
In this guide, we bring you the best ways to heighten an orgasm for both him and her including some tips and tricks you are going to want to practice first.
Before we kick off into the best ways to heighten an orgasm, we thought we’d take a quick look at the mechanics of the orgasm first. Don’t groan, its key that we understand these very important factors first.
Orgasms and the Human Sexual Response Cycle
As well as ‘discovering’ the female orgasm and women’s ability to achieve multiple climaxes, pioneering sexologists of the 1960s, Masters and Johnson, were the first to document the human sexual response cycle.
Broken down into four stages, an orgasm is only part of the way that we experience satisfaction during sex. In fact, it can be argued that it is only because of the other stages that orgasm can be achieved at all but that’s another feature waiting to be written.
In a nutshell, the four stages of sexual response are as follows
- Excitement – this is the most important part of achieving an orgasm and is all about preparing the body, physiologically speaking, for climax. Muscles tense and the heart rate increases in order to get blood pumping around the body. Genitals become engorged and prepare lubrication.
- Plateau – excitement builds and intensifies. The blood flow to the genitals and erogenous zones makes these areas more sensitive.
- Orgasm – the heart rate and breathing accelerates to a peak and the muscles contract involuntarily with a sudden release of tension.
- Resolution – the body gradually returns to its resting state.
The Brain: The Biggest Sexual Organ
Okay, so whilst our genitals may be where those erogenous nerves are located, it is really the brain that acts as the pleasure center. Without our minds being involved, the mechanics of sex alone are not always enough to bring us to orgasm. The mind is what makes men lose an erection when they don’t find a partner attractive and why some women have to fake it, despite the right places being stimulated.
The bottom line is that if your head isn’t in the game then you are bound to be on a losing streak before you even get going.
When guys first discover that a woman has more than just three erogenous zones (pussy, ass and tits) there is a lot of head scratching that goes one. And, when girls learn that men have more than just one (the cock), their minds are truly blown.
The truth is that the whole body is one big erogenous zone owing to the fact that we are covered in the most sensitive organ we own; our skin.
What this means in practice is that, in addition to the ‘typical’ erogenous zones, listed below, with the right touch and for the right person, any part of the body could make you horny. Discovering where that is in yourself and your partner(s) is part of the fun.
However, for the avoidance of any doubt and to ensure we don’t induce any head-scratching later on, the main erogenous zones in men and women are as follows:
Nipples and Breast
Of course, everyone is different and just as some people may find that their lower back is where it’s all happening, some people have a problem being touched on their ears or neck.
The thing we wanted to illustrate here is that orgasms are not solely about the genitals and heightening the experience of a climax can involve some other parts of the body.
How to Heighten an Orgasm
So, we can conclude from all of this that, the key to heightening an orgasm is all about:
- Improving blood flow to the genitals and erogenous zones for optimum sensitivity.
- Involving the mind.
- Incorporating more than just the obvious erogenous zones.
That’s not to say that if you aren’t hitting the right spots already then you may need a refresher course on some basic biology!
Which brings us, without any further ado, to the best techniques, methods and ways to heighten an orgasm.
Best Ways to Heighten an Orgasm For Him & Her
The Art of Foreplay
Studies have shown that oxytocin, the hormone nicknamed the ‘love drug’, can help you experience a more intense orgasm. Produced by both men and women, this hormone is responsible for making us feel bonded to a partner and is released when we hug, kiss and get intimate with someone. It increases trust and strengthens emotional ties and generally makes us feel good.
It doesn’t even matter if you are having sex with someone that you are not ‘bonded’ to in a relationship kind of way as you can trick the body into producing this hormone with plenty of foreplay before sex.
Foreplay is also an important feature of that sexual response cycle and gets the blood flow going to the genitals which makes them more sensitive. It also prepares them for action with a bit of lubrication.
Done well, foreplay should also involve plenty of mental stimulation to bring the brain on board. This could be anything from dirty talk and roleplay to a change in environment or some simple porn.
Turn Up The Heat
A hot shower or bath before sex is not only a good idea for reasons of hygiene but it can also help boost the blood flow to your genitals. As a better use of time you could shower together and include this as part of foreplay.
Good Things Come to Those Who Sweat
Exercise is a great way to improve your libido and can trigger a boost in the sex hormone testosterone in both men and women. Not only that but it stimulates blood flow and improves your overall cardiovascular health meaning more sensitivity for your genitals.
Exercise is also a mood booster; it can make you feel more confident and even help give you some extra stamina….just don’t try having sex straight after your next marathon
Live on the Edge
Edging, or ‘orgasm control’, is a technique of delaying gratification for one or both partners by building up to climax and then stopping. There is some good science behind this kind of ‘training’ that points to stronger and better orgasms plus if you are one of those guys who tends to shoot before he scores then this is a great way to make your sessions last longer.
It can take a while to master this kind of technique as everyone has a ‘point of no return (PNR)’ beyond which orgasm is inevitable. It’s worth practicing alone but you can also experiment with a partner.
Do Your Kegels
Often only used in context of women who have had a baby, Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles that contract and relax when you go to the toilet but are also in play when you have an orgasm. By performing Kegel exercises you can strengthen the sensation of your climax and it also helps with edging.
Women can give theirs a work out by concentrating on squeezing their front and back passage, holding and releasing whilst guys can try lifting their penis up and down using these muscles alone.
Sting like a …Sting
The musician, famously a proponent of tantric sex, was certainly onto something here. An ancient Hindu method of extremely slow lovemaking, tantric sex is all about creating intimacy and can last for hours.
The method is described in detail in plenty of places but basically it can be summarized by:
- Being fully in the moment.
- Focusing on your breathing.
- Being relaxed and taking your time.
- Paying attention to every small detail.
- Embracing noise and not being self-conscious.
The idea behind tantric sex is about slowing everything down so that your mind becomes hyper-sensitive to the sensations of the body. Cosmic.
Focus on Breathing
Following on from the tantric sex advice, maybe you don’t want to try the whole shebang but the advice on breathing is solid.
When we approach an orgasm, it’s natural for our breathing to speed up and then we hold our breath as we cum. However, if you want to make your climax even stronger you should try to maintain more controlled breathing. If you do this during the build-up then the amount of oxygen reaching the rest of your body will be improved (and so will sensation) which makes for a heightened climax.
By controlled, we don’t just mean slow, you can experiment with what works best for you and this can include anything from short shallow breaths to long and deep ones. They can all produce different results and give you an extra layer of control over your orgasms.
Take A Leaf Out of the Kama Sutra
Written more than two millennia ago and still used today to teach the art of good sex, the Kama Sutra is full of some great advice on achieving heightened orgasms. It’s not all about the different positions you can get yourself and your partner into. However, these can certainly help.
By varying the position you have sex in, you can stimulate different parts of the body and, the trickier it is, engage the brain too.
Moves like the Libra, Gemini and Python are great for clitoral stimulation whilst the Lotus Flower, Elephant and Leopard can help bring in the P-spot.
Stay in the Room
It can be easy, especially for guys, to get lost in their own heads during sex whether this is because they are fantasizing about someone hotter than the person they are banging or trying to do mental arithmetic to prevent an early release. However, the key to better orgasms is to focus on the physical and to concentrate on your own body’s experience.
Sexologists reckon that by focusing on the sensations that you are experiencing you can respond to them better which leads to more intense orgasms.
Try an Aphrodisiac
There are a lot of natural foods and herbs that purportedly have properties that can increase your libido. We aren’t suggesting that you make a single dish incorporating the lot but it can’t hurt to have a go with a few.
These are some aphrodisiacs that are either traditional or have some scientific founding:
- Ginkgo Balboa
- Pistachio Nuts
- Red Ginseng
Spicy foods are also said to help boost the libido and there is evidence to suggest that, as vasodilators, they can help widen the veins and improve blood flow. Again, a heavy curry right before a session might not be the best advice but the capsicum in a chili can give you a natural high and make your heart race.
There is scope within this piece of advice to incorporate a little foreplay too; how about some chocolate spread just for the bedroom?
Going back to the fact that the brain is the biggest sex organ, it goes without saying that even with the most expert of touches, sex is not going to be satisfying if you are not turned on.
Again, everyone is different but setting the mood and creating a scene can really heighten the sense of arousal and anticipation. For some, this could be as simple as using lingerie whilst others may want to try out a full-on fantasy with clothes, accessories, toys and even switch up the location; the more complex the better.
If you or your partner have a specific fantasy then it is well worth trying it out as the results from this kind of bedroom play can be mind-blowing when it comes to orgasms.
Mix it Up and Explore Alone
Just like the advice on embracing fantasies, it’s important to explore new ways to make yourself come without the pressure of a partner to please. The fact is that our brains can become a little bored with the same old, same old and essentially takes out that air of anticipation. Our neural pathways like to learn new things and our brain enjoys being kept on their toes. Try out some new moves, toys or substitutions to keep things fresh.
Speaking of mixing things up and confusing the brain, depriving one or more of your senses during sex can really increase the intensity of an orgasm. One of the best ways to do this is via a blindfold. By taking away the visual aspect of a sexual encounter, the other senses are heightened and this can deliver some pretty powerful responses.
Give Yourself a Break
This may sound like exactly the advice you don’t want to hear but an orgasm holiday could be enough to deliver a powerful climax when you get back in the saddle. It’s another form of depriving yourself but try it. Make a pact with your partner not to masturbate for a few days and then see what happens….
The Power of Two…or Three….or Four….
Multiple orgasms are physiologically possible for anyone to achieve, it’s just most people don’t know how. Even men. Though there is a gap between ejaculation and being ready to go again, an orgasm is quite separate from ejaculation. Don’t believe us? We’d refer you back to the section on tantric sex in which men can be taught to experience the contraction and pleasure of an orgasm without actually cumming….well, spewing semen anyway.
All of this takes a lot of practice but it is possible and what better way to heighten an orgasm than by having several all at once?
With all this talk of tantric lovemaking, technical methods and foreplay, you could be forgiven for thinking that the best orgasms are only achieved when you have plenty of time on your hands. In fact, quite the opposite, sometimes a quickie can deliver an amazing orgasm for both him and her. It’s all about spontaneity and timing. Just don’t be afraid to grab those moments that present themselves and make the most of quick fuck.
You Are What You Eat
Just like your health, your diet plays an important role in a satisfying sex life and what you eat can have an impact on the strength of your orgasm.
No, we are not talking aphrodisiacs here, we are talking about staying in shape to increase your stamina and eating plenty of greens to help dilate your blood vessels. Remember that orgasms are heightened by improved blood flow to your genitals and other erogenous zones.
Generally speaking, a balanced diet, rich in vitamins and minerals, will give you the nutrients you need to maintain a healthy libido and optimize your hormone levels.
Ways to Heighten an Orgasm: For Him
Get Your Gooch On
Another name for the perineum, or that strip of skin between your ball sac and your anus, the gooch is packed with nerve endings and is a really sensitive area on men. In women too, it’s just called the ‘taint’.
With men, the gooch is a way of externally stimulating the prostate gland, or male ‘G-spot’. Everyone is different and some guys find that applying pressure to the gooch can heighten their orgasms….some even report being able to achieve multiple orgasms this way.
It goes without saying that some experimentation will be needed here particularly when you are asking a partner to do this for you but practice makes perfect, right?
Find your G-spot
The prostate is the equivalent of a G-spot in women and stimulating this gland can maximize pleasure during orgasm. You don’t have to do this internally if you don’t like the idea of anal probing and you can simply apply some pressure to the perineum.
For the adventurous, having a partner lube up a finger and inserting it a few inches into your butt can mean reaching this super sensitive lump. When done well and at the right time, this extra stimulation can seriously intensify your orgasm.
Squeeze the Sack
Just before a guy cums, the testicles are drawn up towards the body in order to deliver greater power during ejaculation. As a result, if you (or your partner) gently press your balls upwards just before you cum, it can heighten the intensity of the orgasm.
Lower Your Blood Pressure
As we’ve already said, your overall health and diet play an important role in the strength, frequency and duration of the orgasms of both men and women. Blood pressure is also a part of this but can also impact men more when it comes to maintaining an erection and our ability to ejaculate. Remember that blood flow is essential to achieving a good orgasms so keep your blood pressure at an optimum level.
Ways to Heighten an Orgasm: For Her
A lot of women like to be touched in different places at the same time, sort of like coming at her from a few angles. Certainly a little variety never hurt anyone but consider making the most of your hands and mouth as well as your cock when trying to bring her to orgasm. Some women find that having their nipples sucked as they are penetrated will heighten their climax whilst others might find a finger inside the anus really mind-blowing.
Grind The Corn
The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), also known as ‘grinding the corn’ is a variant of the missionary position which maximizes clitoral stimulation during sex. Basically, in a standard man on top position, she wraps her legs around his thighs and moves with him, pushing up and forward so that her clitoris is at the base of his penis. Practice makes perfect with this one and you need to find a rhythm together.
Get Some Battery-Powered Help
Women who use vibrators report that they are able to reach an orgasm easier even when they don’t use one during sex with a partner. The reason being is that they’ve had the practice.
However, using toys during sex can be a big turn on and shouldn’t be seen as an indictment of failure.
There are plenty of low-tech toys on the market to help spice up the action in the bedroom including couples’ vibrators .
Timing is Everything
Yes, some people prefer morning sex whilst others only get their horn on after dark but we don’t mean the time of the day here. No, women can boost the strength of their climax by timing sex during the ovulation period of their monthly cycle. Testosterone levels are at their highest and their libido is peaking plus their breasts and clitoris are more sensitive during this time.
Back to timing during the day…..men’s testosterone levels are usually at their highest in the morning so that’s why we wake up feeling horny. Fact.
Hang Your Head
Some women find that by having their head hang over the side of the bed during sex that this can heighten their orgasm. The rush of blood to the brain may help intensify their arousal or its possible that this position just works by distracting them from being too self conscious..?
Featured image via Pixabay.