Want a sexy older woman to take care of you?
The prospect of dating a MILF or Cougar is high on many straight guy’s lists but what about finding one who is prepared to ‘sugar’ you along the way? Sugar dating is often viewed as being between a wealthy older man and his, younger, sugar baby girlfriend but did you know that the practice is also popular with older women? Known as sugar mommas, there are plenty of ladies out there who are prepared to financially support and compensate their sugar baby boys.
In this feature, we take a closer look at sugar dating between mommas and their babies and give you some practical advice about how to find your own rich cougar.
What is Sugar Dating?
Sugar dating (also known as ‘sugaring’) is a practice whereby one individual financially supports or provides gifts for another in exchange for companionship. Typically, the one who is providing the material benefits is the older partner and is known as a sugar momma or sugar daddy with the younger partner (who is in receipt of the gifts/payments) is the sugar baby (young guys are sometimes known as a sugar cubs).
Sugar dating is particularly common among students who often seek an older and wealthy man (or woman) to help support their college fees and/or housing costs whilst they study.
Some people view the practice as being akin to escorting or as a form of prostitution but there are some big (and more subtle) differences.
Firstly, sugar relationships are exactly that, relationships. Sugar babies are not (or do not tend to be) serial daters who are offering their company to multiple partners. In fact, this is usually one of the first things on an ‘Arrangement’ (see below) between two sugar daters; exclusivity.
Secondly, the financial support being offered by many sugar mommas (and daddies) isn’t as big as you might think. Yeah sure, whilst there are some people who are making a decent living off their sugar sponsor, many sugar babies are simply seeking a modest way to supplement their income or simply to receive the attention and gifts of someone. There are plenty of sugar babies who thrive on the feeling of being pampered and being ‘special’ with the rewards being a perk rather than the main purpose.
Lastly, and this is also key, many sugar relationships don’t include any sexual encounters and those that do have often developed into mutual and consensual ones rather than being agreed up front as a ‘transaction’.
Sugar dating itself can mean many things to different people. For most, it is more about the actual dating itself that is the draw so rather than have to deal with the drudgery of living with someone and sharing their real lives, sugar dating becomes a special experience. Mommas and their sugar babies can spend time together on proper dates which makes both parties feel pampered and special. Dates can be anything from trips to the theatre, dinners at expensive restaurants and even mini-vacations together. Of course, for others it can be more casual and they find the minutiae of a relationship the most important thing.
Some sugar mommas can offer more than just money as an incentive to their sugar cubs and can be an important way to open doors for their younger models.
What (and Who) is a Sugar Momma?
Sugar dating has traditionally been seen in the past as being between a wealthy older man and a younger woman but over the last 20-30 years, as society has become more egalitarian, so too have wealthy older women become more amenable to the idea of having their own sugar baby to pamper.
Perhaps the ultimate expression of modern and empowered feminism, sugar mommas are often confident, sophisticated and successful women. They may struggle to hold down traditional relationships for a number of reasons including (but not limited to):
- Men feeling threatened by them being successful.
- Being too busy with their work.
- Having no desire to commit fully to a typical relationship.
- May have had disastrous relationships in the past.
- They want a relationship on their terms.
These women can often simply be seeking companionship and intimacy without commitment and who would prefer to compensate a regular ‘boyfriend’ than use the services of an escort. They may wish to build a bond, form a connection but without getting romantically involved. They may want to develop a physical relationship but without simply paying for sex.
Some women are motivated by a desire to mentor a younger man and feel they can offer their sugar baby the benefit of their experience. The desire to pamper and sugar a partner is sometimes a strong motivator for sugar mommas.
Often assertive, sugar mommas tend to take the lead and make all the first moves but most will also prefer their men to be confident.
What (and Who) are Sugar Babies?
Sugar babies come from all walks of life and though the practice of sugar dating is more common in the United States, Canada and United Kingdom, it is also pretty popular in Southeast Asian countries and some parts of Latin America. Culturally, male sugar babies tend to come from Western parts of the world as the idea of being looked after by a woman is still too much for some more patriarchal societies.
Sugar babies are typified by being at least ten years younger than their sugar momma or daddy and often earn considerably less. Often students, sugar babies may need to rely on their patron for financial support whilst others are simply looking for an ‘upgrade’ to their lifestyle or, as one sugar baby put it, to get an “elevated dating experience”.
Many sugar babies are drawn to the idea of dating women older than them as they may have become bored and disillusioned by partners of their own age. There are quite a few male sugar babies who prefer the company of older women for their intellect, maturity and experience. Being able to dine out in expensive restaurants whilst doing so is an obvious perk!
Tips on How To Find a Sugar Momma
Below you will find a list of the best websites where you can find yourself a sugar momma but this is only one part of the process. Sugar dating is a highly competitive area and you will need to take some advice in order to give yourself the best chance of becoming a highly prized sugar baby.
- Identify the fake profiles – This can be easier said than done and all online dating services have some fake accounts. Good and genuine profiles often have more than one photo and the text makes sense. It sounds obvious but if the member claims to be American but sounds non-English then this could be your first clue. Their profile should be complete and up to date.
- Protect Your Personal Identity – Until you find the right match and have met up for your first date, be aware of giving too much information out about yourself.
- Be Prepared to Pay – Whilst there are ways to meet a sugar momma for free (see below), the best and most secure way to do this is via a specialist site. Professional services they attract the best quality sugar mommas but these are premium websites. If you are a student and use your Uni email to sign up, many will offer free subscription. Prices for sugar babies are often far cheaper than those set for sugar mommas and daddies.
- Put In The Effort – Just as you will be looking for fake profiles, so too will your next potential sugar momma. Spend time crafting your profile to be appealing and put your best foot forward when it comes to photos and detail.
- Don’t Jump at the First Chance – Whilst it is more competitive for sugar babies than it is for sugar mommas, you don’t have to jump feet first into the first offer you get. By all means, be open-minded and explore your options. The first nibble (especially if you’ve waited for a while) can be tempting but that doesn’t mean you have to take it.
Making an ‘Arrangement’
Its important to remember that sugar dating is not real dating and sugar babies are in this for the rewards. Yes, individuals may well develop genuine feelings for one another but the bottom line is that this is a practical business arrangement.
In this way, it is important to ensure that you agree the terms of your relationship up front.
The terms of an arrangement are down to the individuals involve to determine and this varies a lot depending on the means (or wealth) of the sugar momma and the needs of the sugar baby.
Using a good website, these kinds of details can be added to your profile in advance so there are no awkward surprises early on in a date.
Think carefully about how much time you can commit to your new sugar momma and what kinds of activities you want to get involved in. If you can’t or don’t want to travel with her then make this clear.
Likewise, if you are seeking an arrangement where you receive a regular allowance then be realistic about what you need and what is reasonable to expect. Or, if you aren’t expecting regular financial support then what level of free dates and gifts do you want?
Sex is often not an expectation nor something that can be agreed in advance as this usually only happens if there is chemistry and as a natural development of the relationship. Agreeing this up front does blur the lines between sugaring and escorting so it may well be something you avoid discussing at an early stage.
How to Keep Your Sugar Momma
As you enter into your arrangement with your sugar momma, you will no doubt get to know her more as an individual and be best informed about what makes her tick. However, there are some great words of wisdom from successful sugar babies that will help you keep her happy. And, remember, if she’s happy then she’s paying!
- Stick to the Arrangement – This is a key piece of advice and is fundamental to proving that you are trustworthy. If your sugar momma wants you to call her twice a day, be available on Thursday evenings for dinner and to remain exclusive then that is what you need to do. Failing to stick to your end of the bargain puts you on the fast track to being out the door.
- Bring Something to the Table – So, you won’t be bringing material wealth or possessions to the relationship but you will need to have something to offer your sugar momma. Some women may want a sugar baby who listens to them about their work, problems and life but at some point she’s going to want to hear from you. Even if your sugar momma is helping with the finance doesn’t mean to say you can sit on you ass all day and play on the Xbox. Have something going on in your life that makes you interesting and engaging to be around. It could be as simple as doing some voluntary work or studying, whatever it is, ambitious and successful women don’t want to see people wasting their lives.
- Be Attentive – Your sugar momma may have all the cards when it comes to the finances but that doesn’t mean to say you can take her for granted. Show her your appreciation in other was. Surprise her, complement her and give her some gifts too. At very least, listen to her and make sure you pay her the attention she deserves.
- Don’t Try to Fake It– This may seem like a stupid thing to say but you’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) by the number of sugar babies who get into sugaring for the money alone and fail to remember that their sugar mommas are more than just ‘cash cows’. Enter into a relationship with the person and take the benefits as a perk. If you have no chemistry with your sugar momma then it will not work, no matter how hard you pretend.
- Make an Effort – Sure, sugar mommas are often into this scene because they want to date a young and attractive guy but that’s not all. You will need to dress well and take care of your physical appearance.
- Make Her Feel Young– By this we mean that it is not just age which attracts older women to younger men but their energy. Often (but not always), sugar mommas are tired of dating men their own age as it reminds them that they aren’t as young as they feel. Be energetic, enthusiastic and open to new experiences. This can be an infectious and incredibly attractive energy to be around.
- Don’t Act Too Young – Contrary to the advice given above, it should be pretty obvious that your sugar momma won’t want to be taken on a date to a frat party. Try to mindful of injecting fun into the relationship but without alienating her. Remember, she is your sugar momma NOT your real momma! A nail in the coffin for any sugar baby is when the relationship falls into parenting territory.
- Don’t Focus on Money – Despite the fact that the financial rewards will be at the heart of your relationship, it shouldn’t be a topic for constant discussion. Try to focus on other areas for talking about.
- Let Her Take Control – As we’ve said above, sugar mommas tend to be successful and confident women and they may have far more experience than you when it comes to dating. They will often be driven and used to getting what they want so sit back and let her take (some of the) control.
- But, Be a Man! – No woman, no matter how successful or confident wants to do all the pursuing. Be passionate and spontaneous and make her feel like a goddess.
Best Websites To Find a Sugar Momma
Whilst most of the premium sites listed below have made a name for themselves as networks for sugar dating where the ‘babies’ are women, they have all recently seen an upturn in the number of wealthy sugar mommas using their service. As a results, you can pretty much ignore a lot of their traditional sugar daddy marketing and trust us when we say you should explore these as options.
We’ve also included a couple of more traditional online dating sites.
It is important to note here that there are dozens of websites purporting to offer opportunities to connect sugar babies with a sugar momma where access is free. We would offer some caution when using sites like these. Whilst not all of them are entirely without opportunity many do attract hoaxes and scams due to the fact that they are free to use. Offering little or no means of verification, you’ve got to ask yourself why a wealthy individual would choose this site over a more elite one…..after all they can afford to be more choosy.
One of the most trusted and more popular sugar dating websites, Seeking Arrangement has over 20 million members worldwide. This makes them one of the largest sites for finding a sugar date internationally.
Founded in 2006, this American site has a reach into more than 130 countries and is available in several languages including Spanish, Mandarin, Korean, Italian and French. The platform is also available in handy app form so you can stay connected whilst on the move and browse from your tablet or smartphone device.
The site offers free membership for students in the USA, Canada, UK and Australia as well as selected European countries. Note: You will need to register using a .edu email account to qualify for a free upgrade.
Otherwise, premium membership costs around $90 per month or $240 for three months. If you are serious about getting noticed you could even upgrade to Diamond membership which puts you ahead of other sugar babies. It’s not cheap at $250 per month but you might be able to offset this quickly.
Though the scales are tipped in favor of sugar daddies, there is a good mix of wealthy women seeing their next sugar baby here and with such extensive coverage around the world, you could be welcoming an international date sooner than you’d think.
Rich Meet Beautiful
This European site doesn’t quite have the same reach as Seeking Arrangement but it is gaining popularity in countries like Norway, Sweden, Netherlands and Czech Republic.
Rich Meet Beautiful is also available as an app and offers the usual functionality of any online social networking and dating platform. You can browse for free but if you want to get connected to another member and start messaging then you will need to upgrade to a premium membership.
The cost for membership is billed in Euros and range from €3.75 to €10.00 per week depending on how long you sign up for.
Certainly a good option if you are based in Europe but otherwise the reach internationally is pretty limited.
Older Women Dating
Launched in 2001 and with an app available since 2007, OWD is a traditional dating site that also lends itself to finding a sugar momma. However, as it isn’t a sugar relationship site, you do need to be more explicit about your intentions in your profile.
That doesn’t mean that there aren’t as many opportunities here; there are but only for those guys who have previous experience of how to handle negotiating an arrangement. More women on this site are looking for a committed relationship but some also use the service to find a toy boy to sugar.
Membership here is premium with no freebies for students and current charges are as follows:
- $29.95 for one month
- $59.95 for three months
- $95.95 for six months
It’s worth upgrading as you will be able to search for members based on more specific information, pertinently their annual income as well as the kind of relationship they are looking for.
Not the most obvious site in the world to find a sugar momma but one that can be pretty successful.
Another hugely popular and successful dating website but, again, not one where you might expect to go looking for a sugar momma. Ashley Madison is the site to go for married (or involved) people looking to have an affair. This means there are potentially a lot of mature women, cougars and MILFs looking for a young man to make them feel young again.
The good thing about Ashley Madison is that these women are not looking for a relationship; they can’t…they’re already in one! However, the downside is that the majority are not looking for a sugar baby either. That being said, there are lots of profiles of successful and wealthy women here who will more than likely be offering to pay for dates and to pamper the new young man in their lives. Not the best site if you are looking for high and regular rewards but an interesting option if you are looking to ‘upgrade your dating experience’. Could suit more experienced sugar babies.
You can find a full review of the Ashley Madison dating site in one of our recent features.
Other Premium Websites
Similar to Ashley Madison and Older Women Dating, the following sites aren’t known for being sugar momma fishing grounds but do offer hook-ups with cougars. Again, the advice is to be honest about your means and look for women who have a good income and the rest is all negotiation. The opportunities are there but you may need to be more patient:
Featured image via MaxPixel.