Looking for a naughty novelty gift?
Funny condoms are a great low cost item which can crack a few smiles, serve a practical purpose and won’t break the bank. From edible and novelty sized ones to condoms packets with some naughty puns, there’s a ton to choose from. Got something to say to the lover in your life? Forget flowers, say it with a condom instead.
In this guide we give you a rundown of the types of funny condoms you can buy including where to get them from.
Types of Novelty Condom
Most guys will be familiar with standard condoms; Durex, Trojan or SKYN, everyone has a brand of choice.
Freely available to buy in drugstores, grocery stores and truckstop toilets, the choices are already pretty dizzying.
From those that contain latex to those that don’t. Standard, large or small. Ones with lube, ones without.
Yeah, we’re all familiar with the range of rubbers you can buy. So what makes a novelty condom different?
Well, there are several ways a novelty condom varies from a standard design, namely:
- Added ingredients (Self-Heating lube, tingly/minty lube)
All of these factors can be changed to turn a regular condom into a funny one.
In Asia, novelty condoms are really popular and the Chinese, Korean and Japanese markets are awash with unique and unusual designs.
Although they look pretty good, these funny condoms often do not come with safety certification to approve them to FDA and EU standards of protection.
The easiest way to do this is to simply change the packaging (or wrappers) and this is one of the best ways to pick up a funny condom.
This example from Say It With A Condom perfectly illustrates the novelty condom wrapper.
The rubber inside is just a standard FDA approved one but the look on the face of the recipient when you hand this over is priceless.
Potentially one of the best chat-up props to help you improve your game, a cheekily packaged condom can be a great icebreaker – or a great way to clear the room. Your call!
They’re also a popular choice for dirty Secret Santa gifts.
Condoms with an added taste of something exotic are also pretty novel and there are far more on the market than you might think.
SKYN, for instance, has a great collection of ten condoms called Cocktail Club.
Each one is flavored to taste like cocktail (pun intended) including Passion Daiquiri, Cherry Sunrise and Pina Colada (more puns intended, we guess!).
Most manufacturers opt for more traditional flavors including banana, chocolate, mint and fruits but you can also pick up some more unusual ones.
One such strange invention was the bacon-flavored condom by J&D! Get your pork and taste it too!?
Other weird and wonderful flavors include:
- Chicken Tikka Masala
- Scotch Whiskey
- Blueberry Muffin
And, on top of flavored condoms, you can (of course) buy edible condoms. Not guaranteed to give you any protection against unwanted pregnancy or STIs, they come in an equally varied range of flavors.
We’ve probably all met condoms that are colored. Widely available, there’s not that much that is novel anymore about a green, red or blue covered penis.
But what about glow-in-the-dark ones?
Trust us when we say that there is nothing guaranteed to cause an instant fit of giggles than wearing one of these in a blackout.
Whether it’s you looking down at your own glowing member or waiting in the dark as a bouncing, disembodied (slightly alien-looking) penis comes bobbing towards you, it’s a lot of fun to try.
Unless you’re very well endowed or smaller than the average bear then most condoms are a one-sized fits all kind of deal.
You can buy rubbers in a variety of sizes including extra-large or snug-fit but funny condoms are also available in novelty sizes.
These joke ‘Tiny Pecker’ condoms are perfect for saying something to an ex-lover or just for winding a friend up.
Likewise, you could also go big or go home with an enormous novelty johnny or even a condom costume!
Condom technology has advanced a lot over the last few decades and things have moved on from smooth or ribbed as your only two texture options.
These days you can pick up condoms that have been engineered with dots, ribs and nodules for extra pleasure.
On a similar theme to textures, the shape of a condom has also been evolving to cater for a more diverse range of customers.
Well, Trojan illustrate their own range best with their UltraFit collection.
Who knew that condoms came in anything different than penis-shape?
As well as more ‘classic’ designs, novelty condoms also include some added extras including ticklers, rings and have even include some wacky tips!
Check out these novelty shaped condoms with animal or vehicle heads!!
And finally, you can also pick up condoms that have been treated to some extra ingredients.
Most typically this is some kind of lubricant or spermicide gel but manufacturers have also been getting creative in this department too.
The most popular two added extras are either a self-heating or cooling gel/lube.
Designed to give the user (and recipient) some extra tingle and sensory pleasure, they give a pretty decent experience.
Other added extras can include numbing lube which can help with premature ejaculation.
Where to Buy Funny Condoms
So, now you know more about the types of funny condoms you can buy, WHERE can you pick these bad boys up?
Plenty of retailers sell their products online but we think these retailers offer some of the best choices at the lowest prices.
Plus, most only sell novelty condoms that are safe to use in place of regular protection (see ‘Novelty Condoms: A Word of Caution’ below).
Say It With A Condom
We kick off with a great US based supplier of custom condoms and a company who has a huge range of novelty rubbers.
All FDA approved and simply packaged with funny foil wrappers, wallets and holders, their condoms include plenty of great puns, punchlines and gags.
A company that gets heavily involved with promotional campaigns (HIV Awareness, Consent and Gay Pride), Say It With A Condom also sells a great range of holiday and political themed condoms.
Prices per condom start as low as $0.59 for wholesale orders but you can order them in boxes of 10 for $2.99 each.
Rip n Roll
Like Say It With A Condom, these novelty condom specialists only sell FDA approved rubbers.
As well as glow in the dark, colored and flavored designs, they also do a great range of novelty condoms.
Foil wrapped with gag packaging there are some hilarious choices on offer.
Featured on MTV News and in the New York Post, this online condom store is one of the most popular in America.
Prices start at around $3 per condom with some only being sold in multipacks.
Rip n Roll also offers a Design Your Own Condom service (see below).
Stocking an almost identical range to Say It With A Condom, Funny Condoms sells a selection of themed rubbers including:
- Star Wars
- Pop Culture
A box of ten will set you back $30.
If gags aren’t your thing and you’re more interested in novelty flavors, colors and textures then World Condoms has one of the biggest ranges to choose from.
Stocking all the major brands including Durex, SKYN and Trojan they also sell some international labels too. This includes some of the most popular names in Japanese johnnies including Sagami and Okamoto.
They stock the SKYN Cocktail Club series we’ve mentioned above as well as those that have been treated with stimulating effects.
World Condoms also has a tantalizing selection of flavored rubbers including Cola, Chocolate and Tropical Fruits.
Going down another route, the novelty condoms sold on this US site are packaged like lollypops or come in seasonal wrapping.
A nice idea for a stocking filler, their prices start at around $2.95 per condom.
Across the site, they stock another wide selection of novelty condoms including:
You can also buy some glow in the dark condoms here as well as order in bulk to save money.
This European condom specialist, based in Amsterdam, sells a dizzying selection of fun condoms including ones shaped and painted like animals.
Condomerie is a great place to shop for specialist, as well as funny, condoms and they offer a made to measure service for any gents who are plus (or minus!) size.
Their full range includes
- Ultra thin condoms
- Thick condoms
- Flavoured condoms
- Coloured condoms
- Textured condoms
- Glow in the dark condoms
- Tingling/Warming and Climax delay condoms
- Stimulating condoms
- Latex free condoms
- Fair Trade condoms
- Vegan condoms
- Female condoms
- Non or Extra lubricated condoms
We also like their range of creative condom packaging which includes some unusual designs by the Dutch performance artist and fashion designer, Bas Kosters.
Prices start at €6.00 per condom and they do ship internationally. ALWAYS make sure you check whether the condoms you are purchasing offer protection (see below).
Design Your Own Condom
If none of the options above appeal to you, or you think you have a better punchline then you could always design your own condom.
A couple of the sites we’ve mentioned above offer services which allow customers to tailor the packaging of their own set of johnnies.
Say It With A Condom offers one of the best services around and you can not only customize the individual foil wrappers but you can also create your own design of:
- Condom Wallets
- Condom Trifolds
- Condom Matchbooks
- Female Condom Wallets
- Condom Holders
Hell, you can even design your own custom condom lube!
Their service can be used by individuals ordering small quantities but they are also a great tool for marketing (depending on your line of business!).
Novelty Condoms: A Word of Caution
Whist many funny condoms are made to the same standards as regular ones, some are not intended to be used for contraception or as barrier control for STIs.
We would strongly recommend that you check the individual manufacturer for details of how their products are intended to be used.
Always look for the CE Mark (European) or FDA approval (USA) BEFORE using novelty condoms. If in doubt, do not use them in place of regular protection.
In particular, any edible variety of condoms are NOT safe to use as protection.
Featured image via Say It With A Condom.