The Best Dominatrix Gear: A Complete Guide

Being a Dominatrix can mean different things to different people and whilst a lot of women veer towards the traditional, fetishist stereotypes, there are just as many who like to be creative with their ‘look’.

The key is that whatever clothing you wear and props you use, you should FEEL powerful.

So, whether that means sticking to a tried and tested leather corset, boots and a riding crop or donning a tight fitting bitch business suit, the choice is entirely yours.

And although some FemDoms don’t NEED to step into any kind of roleplay, for most women, being a Dominatrix is all about playing a character.

Which is why we think that sourcing the best dominatrix gear and clothing is essential for setting the right scene.

In this feature we give you a complete breakdown of the essential gear you need to get into role as a Dominatrix along with some guidance of what you need in your kit.

The Essential Best Dominatrix Gear

We’ve put together five key categories for the best Dominatrix Gear and made some suggestions of the kinds of equipment and clothing you could use:

  • What to Wear- covering costume requirements.  
  • What to Hold – covering accessories and props.
  • What to Use – covering specialist equipment.
  • Setting the Scene – covering ways to dress your studio/dungeon/boudoir.
  • Safety First – covering essential safety equipment.

To check out other options and where to buy them, see our feature guide on Where To Buy Dominatrix Outfits.

Lastly, because we know that being a good Dominatrix takes more than just looking the part and having the right ‘stuff’, we’ve given you some Further Guidance on how to learn the skills you need.

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What to Wear

Whilst we’ve already said that getting into character doesn’t have to include leather, PVC or corsets and bodysuits, there is still a lot to be said for the traditional ‘uniform’ of the Dominatrix.

Black, red and purple are all popular color choices and materials tend to be ‘fetishy’ in look and feel. This can be leather or latex, PVC or rubber, lace or spandex.

What you wear will help you get into character but remember that you should always choose your clothing based on how comfortable and practical it will be during use. Oh, and how easy it will be to clean up afterwards!

Costume

First up, your clothing is the first impression that you make on your submissive and should instantly tell them that you are in control.

Your ‘costume’ can be anything from a latex fishtail dress, rubber catsuit or leather corset with stockings and boots to something which is more in keeping with a specific roleplay.

Military and nursing costumes are both popular but as long as you stick to some key principles then pretty much ANY roleplay outfit can be fetishized for a Dominatrix.

It really depends on the kind of Domme you are (or want to be) as to what you wear but it should be sexy and tempting.

We love the classics like this leather Corinthian Corset Dress.

best dominatrix gear corset dress
Image via The StockRoom.

Available from the StockRoom at a price of $455, it makes an instant impression and oozes both power and sexuality.

With a handcrafted corset designed to cinch your waist, it has an open laced back to give your subs just a glimpse of what’s underneath.

Of course, being a Dominatrix doesn’t have to break the bank and you can achieve the ‘look’ for much less. The Dominatrix Store sells a whole range of great FemDom outfits and we like this Faux leather belted catsuit.

The stand-up collar gives this some extra austerity and the low front zipper lets you choose just how much to reveal.

best dominatrix gear cat suit
Image via The Dominatrix Store.

Or what about this honeycomb fishnet dress from Extreme Restraints?

Priced at only $34.95, the stretch lace hem means it will be figure hugging whilst you can choose whether to go ‘commando’ or tease your sub with a hint of luxury lingerie underneath (see below).

best dominatrix gear fishnet dress
Image via Extreme Restraints.

For a touch of real elegance, what about this latex fishtail gown from the StockRoom?

Available in a choice of a dozen colors including solid latex, pearl latex and transparent latex, it’s priced at $398 but is a unique and special addition to any Domme’s closet.

best dominatrix gear latex gown

Our next pick is another classic and that’s just a simple combo of a bustier with a simple short skirt or tight pants. The material is up  to you but we think that latex or leather look great.

Check out this red metallic short bustier from Julbie. Priced at $37.95, it’s pretty comfortable to wear and looks hot as hell!

best dominatrix gear bustier
Image via Julbie.

Our next budget selection is a vinyl and fishnet keyhole dress available from Dominatrix Lingerie for just $29.

It’s an alluring piece that is well within the price range of any Dominatrix and, paired with some thigh-high boots, looks the business.

best dominatrix gear keyhole dress
Image via Dominatrix Lingerie.

Our final recommendation on fetish clothing for Dominatrixes is via Etsy. There are some great designers who market their bespoke collections here and we very much like the look of this custom latex dress.

Created by a UK seller, Westwardboundlatex, they ship internationally and can make an individually sized piece in either red, black or translucent latex. Priced at around $300 plus shipping, this is a real statement piece.

best dominatrix gear custom latex dress
Image via Etsy/Westwardboundlatex.

Footwear

What you wear on your feet is really important as your submissives SHOULD be spending a lot of time looking at (or adoring) them.

Height can be a really useful way to gain extra status and power so the higher the heel, the better.

Boots give an amazing sense of authority and these could be ankle length or thigh length depending on your choice of outfit.

What you need to consider is how comfortable you are going to be and how stable they are during play.

It’s a tricky balancing act of what LOOKS good and what FEELS good.

We think that shoes are often more important than the clothes. Let’s face it, if you wear some thigh-high leather boots then it barely matters what you’re wearing above them; they scream kinky.

Conversely, if you wear a pair of crocs with a corset and the hard work has all been undone!

For us, there is no getting away from the enduring appeal of the classics and we think that most Dominatrixes would be well advised to select from the following designs.

Our first pick is the ultimate in domination by footwear.

These thigh-high faux leather boots with a dagger heel from Devious are, straight up, kinky as f**k!

best dominatrix gear thigh high boots dagger heel
Image via Sexy Shoes.

With a solid 6 ¼” brass heel and lacing that goes all the way up, these bad babies are priced at $126.95 from Sexy Shoes.

Or what about these ankle stiletto boots?

Made from super soft Vegan leather and including some mini-padlocks on the ankle strap, the solid heel is yet another nod to the power you wield.

best dominatrix gear dolls kill ankle boots
Image via Dolls Kill.

Priced at $108, these Pleaser Lust Locked Up Stiletto Boots are available from Dolls Kill.

For the ultimate in alternative and fetish footwear then you need to check out the range on offer over at Pleaser Shoes.

Stockists of iconic and original pieces favored by women in the adult industry (and their admirers), they stock a great selection of Dominatrix-style shoes.

From brands like Demonia, Funtasma, Devious and Bordello (plus their own brand designs) you ca pick up pumps and boots, platforms and heels along with some extra-special items

We particularly like their ‘Brass Knuckles’ collections which incorporate the design of knuckle-dusters into the shoe itself.

best dominatrix gear brass knucle duster shoes
Image via Pleaser Shoes.

But we think these Adore triple buckle platform pumps with a 7” red heel are particularly sexy.

Priced at just $66.95, they are also a bargain.

best dominatrix gear pleaser shoes plaform pumps
Image via Pleaser Shoes.

Lingerie

Your choice of lingerie is the piece de resistance of any Dominatix outfit.

Not only does it help you feel sexy and confident but a peek of whatever you’re wearing underneath is an extra-special sensory thrill for your sub(s).

Of course, you don’t have to wear any lingerie at all but if you do then the key is to choose something that makes you feel powerful and erotic.

The cornerstone item for most Dommes is the corset, basque or bustier and these essential pieces can be used as an outfit on their own or can accessorize other items of clothing.

The key is to get a good fit which accentuates your best features so whether that’s tits or ass or even waist, choose something that makes the most of what you got.

We think that Lovehoney has a great range of sexy fetish lingerie which won’t break the bank. And what we love about this online retailer is that they sell a great selection of kinky lingerie in plus-sizes including open-cup wet look studded bustier set.

best dominatrix gear lingerie
Image via Lovehoney.

Proving that size ain’t no boundary to being a smoking’ hot Domme, we think this fierce love set is fet-tastic.

Priced at just $42.99, it’s a budget-busting buy and comes in sizes all the way up to 6X (dress size 22-26).

Sticking with the wet look, we also like this half cup bustier.

With a merry widow hemline and 4 x detachable garter straps, this piece really flatter flatters every part; tits, hips and ass.

Priced at $54.99, the Coquette Darque Bustier is another steal from Lovehoney.

best dominatrix gear bustier lovehoney
Image via Lovehoney.

For a whole range of fetish choices, Dominatrix Lingerie has a collection of pieces from a range of designers including Elegant Moments and Allure.

We like this chain bra with leather trim and matching thong, priced at $52.

best dominatrix gear lingerie chain set
Image via Dominatrix Lingerie.

Dolls Kill has a fantastic selection of fetish lingerie including chemises, thongs and teddies but we like this two-piece sheer teddy.

With satin straps on the lace-up teddy and matching crotchless panties, it’s a power piece that is kinky but elegant. Yet, at just $28.00, it’s another budget buy.

best dominatrix gear sheer teddy dolls kill
Image via Dolls Kill.

Jewelry

Again, your choice of jewelry is a personal one and many Dominatrixes prefer not to wear any as they present a safety issue.

Certainly, you should avoid any earrings which can be held onto and long necklaces can really get in the way.

Of course, you can take them off before you start getting down to the business at hand.

A good choice is a choker (or collar) style necklace.

There are also lots of designers who make bespoke items which can be shared with your sub(s) so that they wear some kind of matching piece to signify that they ‘belong’ to you.

Franklin the Fet Jeweller has a great collection of BDSM jewelry inspired by the culture of the fetish community.

You can also find some great BDSM pieces through The Luxury Dungeon including this sterling silver barbed wire cuff.

Priced at $292.99 it’s a hefty piece but can be custom sized.

best dominatrix gear barbed wire cuff
Image via The Luxury Dungeon.

With pieces ranging from day wear to play wear and even some vibe necklaces to combine the two, you can pick up some great specialist items from this online store.

My Secret Heart Studios also sells a really exciting collection of designer jewelry for fet-fans and includes necklaces, earring, bracelets and specialist items.

Hair & Hats

We don’t want teach any woman how to suck eggs but a Dominatrix’s hair is just as important to the overall look as their clothes.

A lot of FemDoms opt for an austere scraped back ponytail whilst others prefer to toy with the feminine ideals of the 1940s and 1950s.

Victory rolls, curls and waves go well with a more burlesque costume and look great with a beret whilst braids could work nicely with a European look.

You can even add some bling without opting for fussy neckwear but instead dress your hair with decadent barrettes and hair clips.

Hair color is also something you can play with and there are a lot of Dommes who opt for a brassy redhead look. Cashing in on that fiery stereotype, it’s something you can change about your appearance that has a big impact.

best dominatrix gear femdom hair
Image via AnyPorn.

You can also accessorize with headwear and its still pretty popular for FemDoms to don a ‘traditional’ leather biker’s or soldier’s cap.

But what about subverting those stereotypes with some leather kitten ears, a tiara or crown? You could even go ‘full devil may care’ with some latex devil horns!

Or, if you are involved in some kind of medical roleplay then you can pick up a latex nurse’s hat

Better yet, why not embrace the full Dominatrix and opt for a latex or leather hood/mask?

best dominatrix gear latex hood
Image via The Luxury Dungeon.

At least this way you don’t have to worry about the hair….well, not all of it!

Gloves

Last, but by no means least, what you wear on your hands can also be pretty exciting. After all, if your sub is really lucky then you might touch them, right?

Again, practicality is a consideration and although wearing leather gloves might seem like a good idea, you do need to be able to work your tools. If you are using rope play then you’ll certainly need to maintain dexterity.

Fingerless leather gloves are therefore a good compromise.

Other options include latex or nitrile gloves which are great if you are offering some kind of medical play during a session.

best dominatrix gear gloves
Image via The StockRoom.

Latex gloves are available to buy in wrist length or opera length (right up past the elbow) they are also useful for fisting.

If you don’t want to go the whole hog with your gloves then you could consider glovelettes; small bands worn just on the thumb and wrist.

Alternatively, you could also consider gauntlets. These lace-up ones cover your forearms but don’t interfere with your hands.

Other styles include vampire gloves which have small pins in the fingertips, designed to give your grip some extra bite or driving gloves, wrist bands or cuffs.

The StockRoom has a great collection of all these types of gloves and with prices starting at just $29, they’re budget-busting as well as ball-busting.

What to Hold

Accessorising a power outfit is never complete unless you have something in your hands that you can wield.

And every dominatrix is different when it comes to those props which make her feel in control.

Whilst a lot of FemDoms prefer to hold a classic whip or riding crop, others like to make use of other accessories including cigarette holders, ornate walking canes or a cat-o-nine tails.

My Secret Heart Studios has some great designer BDSM toys which make excellent accessories for your costume but can also be used during a session.

best dominatrix gear accessories
Image via My Secret Heart Studios.

Check out this black suede and glass flogger. Priced at $95-$110, the handle can be monogrammed with a personal phrase.

Having something to hold in your hand before a session starts can really help you get into character.

And it doesn’t have to be something you USE on your submissive; that part comes next…

What to Use

So, now we get to the practical part; the toys you can use as a Dominatrix to wield ultimate power.

First up, most of these items require a good deal of experience and knowledge to use safely but, when used correctly, can be immensely satisfying for both Domme and sub.

But if used incorrectly, these aren’t toys but weapons so ALWAYS make sure you are competent in their use before playing with them.

For further information on Dominatrix training, see our section below, ‘Further Guidance’.

Muzzles, Masks, Hoods, Blindfolds and Gags

We kick off with an extension of costume but, this time, for your sub as opposed to you.

Wearing a mask or hood can form part of sensory deprivation whilst gags are a sure-fire way to dominate and humiliate your partner.

When worn, they can also help set the scene and establish role play for both of you.

There are tons of choices in this category and designs of all three items varies by material, style and purpose.

best dominatrix gears hoods
Images via The StockRoom.

At one end you have simple masks or blindfolds which can be made from latex, spandex, leather or neoprene.

Simply designed to obscure vision, you can pick these up from most online retailers.

The next step up is to include masks with an open mouth, zips and ball gags.

Again, pretty standard stuff from most adult stores, it’s the next level where things get really kinky.

If you hit up a retailer like Extreme Restraints then you can find more oppressive items like this Total Sensory Deprivation Leather Hood.

best dominatrix gears ssensory deprivation hood
Image via Extreme Restraints.

Priced at $279, this is a premium quality piece and comes with four locking straps which can be used with or without padlocks.

Or what about this slave hood with snap on blindfold and gag? Priced at $129, this piece is made from padded leather and comes in a choice of sizes.

For something a little less pricey and extreme, Lovehoney also has a nice selection of gags, masks and blindfolds including this one.

A great starter set for training your sub, the Fetish Fantasy Breathable Ball Gag System is priced at just $29.99 and comes with three balls.

best dominatrix gears gags
Image via Lovehoney.

Canes, Paddles, Whips & Floggers

As we alluded to above, having a prop in your hand can make you feel much more confident and gives you a ready tool to use.

So, what better to choose than another essential accessory for a Dominatrix.

best dominatrix gears impact play
Image via Extreme Restraints.

Impact play comes in many different forms and you can opt for any one (or more) of the following:

  • Canes
  • Crops
  • Whips
  • Floggers
  • Paddles
  • Slappers
  • Straps
  • Ticklers

We think it’s worth having a selection of these accessories on hand so you can vary the kind of sensations you give.

With prices starting at $10, you can add a new one to your collection regularly without breaking the bank.

You can pick up some pretty standard designs through the usual online retailers whilst specialist stores like Extreme Restraints have sturdier designs made specifically for BDSM play.

Or, if you like the idea of a premium piece then check out the collections over at The Luxury Dungeon or My Secret Heart Studios.

We love this handmade Nine Tails Flogger with decorative spiked knots and braided tails. Priced at $199.99, it’s one to save for a special occasion!

best dominatrix gear flogger
Image via The Luxury Dungeon.

Handcuffs, Ropes & Restraints

Another essential basic for any Dominatrix, you can’t have BDSM play without some bondage.

Handcuffs are the simplest and easiest way to restrain your sub and, for us, there’s really only one choice.

Professional police handcuffs are solid by design and you can either buy these with the traditional chain or with a modern hinge.

best dominatrix gear handcuffs
Image via Extreme Restraints.

Priced at around $25, you can pick these up from retailers like Extreme Restraints.

Our only advise when buying handcuffs are to buy the best quality and to take good care with the key!

Rope play can be as simple or as complicated as you like with masters of the craft being true artists.

You can buy rope made from various materials including hemp, cotton, jute, nylon and even silk. The choice of which one is very much down to you and how rough you want it to feel against your sub’s skin.

Whichever you buy, it’s important that you can easily untie those knots which can get pretty tight during a session.

When it comes to restraints, there are tons of choices including:

  • Yokes
  • Spreader Bars
  • Chains
  • Armbinders
  • Strait Jackets
  • Collars and Leashes
  • Sleepsacks
  • Body harnesss

The StockRoom and Extreme Restraints both have excellent ranges for all these categories.

But if you really want to restrain a sub then suspension play can really send them to new heights

If you are into rigging then we quite like the looks of this Suspension Bondage Frame.

best dominatrix gears suspension play
Image via The StockRoom.

Sold by The StockRoom for $599, it’s a sturdy but lightweight bit of kit which offers a lot of flexibility for suspension fans.

Sensation Play

Inflicting (controlled) pain on your sub is one of the pleasures of being a Dominatrix and there are, of course, unlimited ways to do this.

And one of the most popular ways to do this is through sensation play.

Depending on your agreed boundaries (see below), this can take any kind of form.

From tickling or dripping hot wax on naked flesh to using pinwheels or vampire gloves there is a tool for every eventuality.

As with most accessories on our list, you can pick up some of these items from good adult stores but for specialist equipment you need to hit a BDSM retailer.

We like this Double Finger Pinwheel from Extreme Restraints.

best dominatrix gear sensation play pinwheel
Image via Extreme Restraints.

Easy and comfortable to use, the head is made from two Wartenberg wheels.

The StockRoom also sells a great range of sensation play products but we love the look of this Extreme Full Body Zipper.

Constructed using a 68” length of rawhide lace along which 24 wooden clothes pins have been attached, the rip as this is pulled from your sub gives a delicious ‘bite’.

best dominatrix gear sensation play
Image via The StockRoom.

Or for something a little less scary looking then you could try some wax play with these Doc Johnson bondage candles.

Designed to burn hotter than a massage candle but cooler than a household candle, they are perfect for safe exploration of this kink.

Available to buy from Lovehoney for $12.99, you can get a set of three to start you off.

best dominatrix gear wax play
Image via LoveHoney.

Chastity Play

Cock cages are a great way to deprive a sub of an erection and gives you ultimate power over their pleasure.

We like this simple translucent chastity cage from Lovehoney which is ergonomically designed for long-term wear.

It comes with a brass padlock and 3 locking pins making it very secure.

best dominatrix gear chastity cage
Image via Lovehoney.

It also has an open end for free and easy access to the urethra for sounding or other sensory play.

Priced at $159.99, you can also buy a slightly larger version for those bigger subs.

For more advanced chastity play then you might want to consider a high-tech alternative.

The Cellmate Chastity Cage incorporates Bluetooth security so you can control their cock from a distance. Check out our recent review to see how it works.

Anal Play & Pegging

Both male and female slaves enjoy a bit of anal play but men especially love the idea of being drilled in the ass by a Domme.

Known as pegging, this kind of BDSM session requires a decent strap on harness along with your choice of dildo.

For that reason, we think buying a harness which can accommodate a range of dildos is best.

If this is the kind of play you will accommodate then buying a universal but solidly constructed O-ring harness is best.

We think opting for a premium design that will withstand wear and tear is preferable and for this reason an adjustable leather harness works well.

best dominatrix gear pegging
Image via The StockRoom.

You can pick these up from almost all good adult stores along with your own choice of dildo.

Of course, anal play doesn’t stop with pegging and you can have a lot of fun with your sub by intensifying their anal training.

You can buy sets of anal plugs in various sizes to explore the limits your partner or you can opt for an inflatable butt plug.

We like this combo harness set available from The StockRoom for $98.50.

Made from soft but high quality leather, it can also be used with a chastity device and just looks great too.

best dominatrix gear anal play
Image via The StockRoom.

Electro Stim

Although it sounds scary, e-stim is no more risky than other forms of BDSM play.

Common in medical roleplay scenarios, all you really need is a TENS machine or similar to get started.

We like this all-in-one kit ElectraStim EM60-M Flick Electrosex Stimulator Multipack Set from Lovehoney.

best dominatrix gear e stim
Image via Lovehoney.

Priced at $199.99, it includes three attachments including an anal probe, plus two adjustable cock loops.

The adhesive pads allow for ‘contactless’ spanking and it comes with everything you need.

For more advanced kits, The StockRoom has kit from KinkLab which includes Neon Wands, ThunderClap Paddles and Roller Electrodes.

For $400, you can pick up this sensational Agent Noir set which includes a Neon Wand plus the following attachments:

  • The Power Tripper™
  • The Electro Whip
  • The Bulb
  • The Comb
  • The Pinwheel
  • The Tongue
  • The Mushroom
  • The Rolling Drum
  • The Probe

All stored inside a stylish silver attaché case, this is a premium set for professionals.

best dominatrix gear e stim set
Image via The StockRoom.

Setting The Scene

Looking the part and having the right toys is just one part of making your play sessions more authentic.

To really get yourself and your sub(s) in the mood then you’re going to need a space to play in.

Not everyone has the luxury of having a home dungeon but you can transform any space quite easily with the help of some statement pieces of furniture, a few accessories and a little bit of creativity.

Whether you are using a boudoir or studio, the first thing we think really sets the scene is a single focus piece.

You can find some great ideas for bondage sex furniture in one of our recent features which includes a fuck bench, vac rack and St. Andrew’s Cross.

If you have the space (and budget) then you can look to a more extravagant set-up, customizing your studio/dungeon to suit your services.

You can pick up BDSM furniture from mainstream retailers including Lovehoney but if you really want to invest in the best then check out Enfettered and Extreme Restraints.

This specialist supplier of dungeon equipment offers everything from cages, crosses and frames to suspension kit, chairs, benches and pillories.

If you have a limited budget then we would strongly suggest investing in a single item of high-quality furniture and this Extreme Bondage and Milking Table is a great piece to start you off.

best dominatrix gear bdsm furniture milking table
Image via Extreme Restraints.

A versatile piece of play equipment priced at $579, it’s a durable design which includes D-rings, crotch hole and face hole.

We also love the Schlossmeister Collection on offer at the Stock Room which includes some medieval items to add a touch of ‘olde’ authenticity.

Or what about this stylish whipping bench?

Available from Drabov at a price of $631.99, it includes seven straps for maximum fixation and is fully adjustable.

best dominatrix gear bdsm furniture spanking bench
Image via Drabov.

You can also buy medical equipment and furniture online through specialist retailers like Medical Toys.

Beyond the furniture, it’s essential to think about how you ‘dress’ the space and we think minimal is best but if you have the budget then we love these artistic Shibari sculptures.

Priced at around $1600 each from the Luxury Dungeon, they’re not a cheap toy but for a professional Domme who wants to make a big impact, they’re pretty special.

best dominatrix gear bdsm art shibari sculptures
Image via The Luxury Dungeon.

Safety First

Being a good Dominatrix is about WAY more than just wearing the right clothes and picking up the best equipment.

To be a successful FemDom you need to understand the importance of the role you are playing to your submissive.

Sure, dominating any partner is all about powerplay and whether you are contemplating being a Dominatrix as a career or just to spice up a relationship, there are some key things to know.

Just as importantly, the safety and wellbeing of your submissive is just as much a part of your play as the domination, humiliation and manipulation.

Firstly, consent is a MUST and setting boundaries of your play should be the first order of the day. This might not be the sexiest part of the role but it is an important one.

Always ensure that you have discussed and agreed the limits of what you and your sub are willing to participate in. This should include their (and your) wants and desires as well as establish any ‘no-go’ areas.

Setting this down as a ‘contract’ in advance will not ensure both your safety and theirs but also help create a fantasy roleplay event which will be wholly satisfying.

You should always establish a safe word (and/or gesture) and ensure this isn’t something that can be misinterpreted.

Once you have agreed on your safe word and formed an agreement of your play boundaries, you’re almost ready to play….

But, before you crack out that whip, make sure that you have suitable safety gear and care essentials on hand.

We don’t assume to know what kind of kinky play you and your partner(s) will get up to but most forms of BDSM carry some element of risk.

best dominatrix gear first aid kit safety
Not so sexy but an ESSENTIAL part of safe play.

Which is why you need to ensure that your dungeon/studio/boudoir has the appropriate items stocked up and easy to reach.

We think the following items are essential:

  • First aid kit stocked with basic home care items including antiseptic wipes, plasters, and a couple of dressings/bandages. You might also want to consider gauze, saline, burn dressings, glue and butterfly strips.
  • Tools such as scissors or a rope cutter plus tweezers are always useful. And although it seems banal but a pen and pad is never a bad idea to have on hand.
  • Painkillers like paracetamol and ibuprofen are useful for when playtime is over as are throat lozenges. You should also consider stocking up on cold packs and muscle sprays.
  • Keep some bottled water on hand for both you and your sub. BDSM play can be really strenuous and dehydration is one of the most common risks you both face. This is particularly true if your sub is wearing any restrictive accessories.

Safe sex is also an essential part of your play and keeping a stash of condoms and lube is also a great idea.

Other safety equipment you might consider depending on the kind of play you are involved in could include:

  • Fire extinguisher/blanket – definitely worth including if you use candles when setting the scene.
  • Sports drink powders – add these to your water to replenish those lost electrolytes
  • Extra bottles of water – if you don’t have easy access to a sink then water for washing hands, eyes and cooling any burns is a good idea.

Further Guidance

Looking like FemDom and having the right equipment does not make you a competent Dominatrix which is why we’ve put together a list some useful resources to help you learn the trade.

Useful Books

Forget what you think you know from popular, mainstream BDSM books like Fifty Shades of Gray and check out these manuals and handbooks instead.

All these books are available from good online bookstores and retailers like Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

  • Bow Down: Lessons from Dominatrixes on How to Get Everything You Want (2020), Lindsay Goldwert
  • The Professional Dominatrix Handbook: A Guide For Fledgling FemDommes (2017), Blonde Goddess
  • Forbidden Psychology 101: The Cool Stuff They Didn’t Teach You About In School (2016), Madison Taylor
  • Female Dominatrix Manual for Beginners: Sissy Boy Feminization Training (2016), Mistress Dede
  • The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance (2017), Mistress Lorelai Powers
  • Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation by Princess Kali (2015), Princess Kali
  • Femdom for Nice Girls: A Self-Guided Manual for the Caring Mistress (2015), Lucy Fairbourne
  • The Mistress In Control (2020), Veronica Milan
  • PRO-DOMME: How to Become a Professional Dominatrix (2019), Aleta Cai             
best dominatrix gear books guides manuals
Images via Amazon/Amazon/Amazon.

All great general guides on how to be Dominatrix, you might also want to brush up on some more specific skills such as safe rope play, pegging and sensory deprivation.

There are a ton of books available to buy but you might find that your local BDSM group (see below) has a loan library.

Useful Groups

Learning your craft in isolation can be done, to a point, but getting feedback from your peers is an essential way to hone your skills.

Most major cities and urban areas have a community of BDSM afficionados and they’re pretty easy to find through sites like:

All offer ways to join the online BDSM community, there are tons of different groups and forums where you can network with other Dominatrixes for advice and guidance.

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Learn how to be a professional Dominatrix with online training. Image via Wikimedia.

Dominatrix Training

For some professional guidance on how to master (or mistress!?) the art of domination, you could enrol on a professional course with one of these schools:

  • Kalyss Mercury can deliver online training sessions and mentoring. From the introductory consultation through to individual play sessions walkthroughs, she can help you expand your knowledge.
  • Described by Kink Weekly as offering “university level training course of lifestyle & professional domination, Simone Justice teaches roleplay, protocols and techniques over the phone, online or in person. Based in Texas, she also runs weekend immersion courses in New York.
  • Australian, Anne O Nomis offers private tuition via Zoom at a rate of around $190/hour. She also runs regular courses which include the art of bondage, submission and fantasy. Check out Villa Domme for more details of her upcoming residential courses. Attended by many international Dommes in training, they take place in Tuscany, Italy.
  • The London Dominatrix School offers online training at a cost of £50 ($70) per hour.
  • The internationally renowned London Dominatrix, Mistress Absolute, offers tuition online.
  • UK based Madam Storm also offers one-to-one mistress training or workshops for groups of up to 4.
  • Sir Dominic (also based in Australia) offers kink coaching and professional training for Doms and FemDoms. From critical safety practices and essential aftercare through the nitty gritty of the art of ‘funishment’, his courses are well regarded.
  • Or you could learn the craft of being a Domme with Black Belles Academy. They run regular workshops or you can get private tuition.

Featured image via Wikimedia Commons.



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