24 Best Dirty Secret Santa Gifts: Naughty Ideas

Need some naughty ideas for a budget Christmas gift?

Secret Santa gifts can be an ideal opportunity to inject a little fun into the Christmas spirit.  And we think there’s no reason why this Christmas tradition shouldn’t include some dirty ideas.

Whether you’re buying for a colleague, partner or friend, they can be a great way to introduce some naughtiness to an office party or social gathering.

In this guide we give you a rundown of some of cheekiest stocking fillers and dirty Secret Santa gifts for the festive season ahead.

Unisex Secret Santa Gifts

Not sure what to buy your Secret Santa this year, then let us help with a few dirty, naughty and cheeky gift ideas.

Pubic Hairstyles Novelty Mug

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - muff mug

We think this cheeky novelty ‘Muff Mug’ is a perfect Secret Santa for either guys or girls.

Illustrating the evolution of pubic hair, the designs include The ‘Au Naturel’ and the ‘Vajazzle’.

Dishwasher and microwave safe, it’s a decent size and makes a talking point at coffee breaks.

Available from Lovehoney and priced at $12.99, this cheeky gift could make a great chart for comparing bushes.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

Stressticles Stress Balls

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - stressticles

A great gag gift for a co-worker, these stress balls have been designed to look like a pair of bollocks.

So whether or not the recipient is known as a ball-buster or just someone who would like to give the boss’s balls a good hard squeeze, they make an excellent Secret Santa gift.

Available from online retailers like the Inked Shop, you can pick up a pair of these stress relievers for around $10.

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

I Hate…Game

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - i hate game

A game for 2-12 players, this little gift can be played as a forfeit or drinking game.

Can be pretty revealing among couples as well as colleagues, you basically have to try and work out what your team-members dislike most.

Priced at $21.95 and available from retailers like Lion’s Den, the I Hate… game is great for parties and is a subtle way to tell your Secret Santa that they’re a grumpy bastard!

Value Rating1/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

Penis Pasta

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - penis pasta

A ubiquitous but useful dirty gag gift, penis pasta is a perfect way to inject a little harmless but naughty fun to the Secret Santa tradition.

Made from durum wheat, these little peckers are growers not showers and will certainly add some extra sauciness to mealtimes.

Could make an ideal stocking filler for a food-lover or just another way to tell someone they need more dick in their diet!

Available from plenty of adult stores near you, Lovehoney sell this pack at just $5.99.

Value Rating5/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Draw A Dick On It Doodle Book

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - draw a dick on it

A great gift idea for the rebellious Secret Santa recipient, this book challenges payers to doodle a penis on everyday objects.

From snowmen and milkshakes to Yetis and sandwiches, all you have to do is… (you’ve guessed it!) draw a dick on it!

A perfect choice of gift for that co-worker who’s always doodling during meetings, you can pick up a copy from retailers like Lion’s Den for around $12.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

Middle Finger Candle Holder

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - middle finger candle holder

There’s no end to the number of people who this dirty Secret Santa gift could be perfect for. It might be someone who’s always sticking the finger to the world or maybe it’s a person who you’d like to flip the bird to?

Whoever receives this gift though is going to get a high-quality solid concrete hand with a long tapered candle instead of a middle finger.

Available from retailers including Blue Seven, it’s not a cheap gift at $40 but it most certainly is a unique one.

Value Rating1/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

Go The F**k to Sleep Book

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - go the fuck to sleep book

A perfect gift for new parents, this hilarious and naughty alternative bedtime storybook is a godsend for sleep-deprived mums and dads everywhere.

Created by Adam Mansbach who is also responsible for writing F**k, Now There Are Two of You and You Have to F**king Eat, this beautifully illustrated book is a #1 New York Times Bestseller.

Although it’s not a sexy Secret Santa, it’s definitely a rude one and any grateful new parent will be delighted to receive it.

You can pick a copy up from Amazon for around $8.

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

Cock Breath Mints

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - cock breath mints

There’s always someone whose breath stinks up an office like a polecat in a poke so this gift could be good for everyone.

Designed with a harmless rooster on the tin and containing 165 refreshing mints, who knew that cock also meant something else, right?

It’s a tongue in cheek kind of gift that should raise a few smiles.

Available from online retailers including Fun Slurp, this is a good budget gift at just $3.99.

Value Rating5/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Secret Santa Gifts for Him

Looking for a cheeky stocking filler or budget busting Secret Santa for a guy then these ideas could help.

Inflatable Boob Slippers

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - inflatable boob slippers

Know someone who is obsessed with big titties?

At 20” long, these bad boys are as big as they come.

Can be used to kick his ass with or just to let him enjoy some time with his own personal hooters, you can buy a set of these slippers from retailers like Bachelorette for around $7.50.

Santa’s World Famous Naughty Soap

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - naughty soap

If you know a man who belongs on the naughty list then this soap is ideal to help him clean away his conscience….and cock.

A perfect ring to polish his North Pole with, this novelty festive soap is a great gag gift.

Available to buy from online retailers including Amazon, you can pick one up one of these wiener cleaners for around $10.

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating4/5

Merry Christmas, Asshole! Trail Mix

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - merry christmas asshole trail mix

For when you only have one thing to say to someone, there’s only way to say it….with trail mix!

A tongue-in-cheek bag of nuts labelled up with the perfect holiday greeting for when you just can’t bring yourself to say something nice.

Contains a spicy selection of almons, peanuts, pepitas, corn nuts and guacamole bits it’s a heartfelt gift for that asshole in your life.

Available to buy from Fun Slurp for $10.99.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating3/5

Head Down Golf Tees

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - head down golf tees

Drawn a golf love in the Secret Santa?

Then these novelty tees are a great little gift to help them improve their game.

The cheeky little bee-hinds will encourage them to keep their head down and may help focus their attention.

Available to buy from Amazon at a price of $6.99.

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Because You Probably Touched Your Junk Hand Sanitizer

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - touched your junk hand sanitizer

We’ve all met (or been) the guys whose hands spend longer down their pants than anywhere else.

And this next gift is an ideal way to say ‘WE SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING’!

It might not stop them from doing it but at least you’ll be making a point that it’s not sanitary.

Available to buy from Witty Yetis for $15 as a two-pack.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

Novelty Christmas Condoms

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - custom condoms

Custom condoms are a great gift for guys who like to do things with a flourish.

Say It With A Condom design a whole range of novelty rubbers (all FDA approved) with some hilarious puns, gags and jokes.

We like their holiday themed ones but their Funny Range has some absolute corkers.

Perfect for the office lothario, you can buy a pack of 10 custom condoms for a price of $29.99 from Say It With A Condom (reviewed here).

Alternatively or you can even design your own and this includes adding your own logo! Free advertising for the company anyone?

Value Rating1/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Inflatable Cockfighting

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - inflatable cock fighting

Know someone who swings his dick about a bit too much?

Then this game might be a great way to subtly tell them whilst adding some amusing potential to any office party.

Contains two giant inflatable penises for duelling with, this is an hilarious game to play but just as much fun to watch.

Available from retailers including Amazon for around $20, these 2’ dongs attach with Velcro belts for the ultimate party game.

Value Rating2/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Bicycle Ball Lamp

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - bicycle ball lamp

Know someone who cycles to work?

Then this dirty Secret Santa gift could be a perfect choice.

A practical and novel item, its an essential LED tail light with a difference. As well as warning traffic behind that there is a cyclist on the road, it also tells them that this guy has balls!

Attaches to any bicycle seat, there’s a range of color options available.

You can pick up a ball lamp for the cyclist on your Christmas gift list from Amazon at a price of just $12.

Secret Santa Gifts for Her

Stuck for ideas about what to get a female co-worker or friend in the Secret Santa draw?

We think these ideas should help you get started…

Boss Bitch Bath Bombs

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - boss bitch bath bombs

No prizes for guessing who the perfect Secret Santa recipient for this gift would be?

But do you have the balls to give it?

This pair of extra-large bath bombs will treat someone to a luxury bath time, safe in the knowledge that they are the Ball-Busting Queen of the Office.

Available to buy from Fun Slurp for $11.95, these pink and black tub fizzers are handcrafted.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

XL Dill Dough Stress Putty

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 dill dough

There aren’t many women who would say no to an extra-large dildo but this is something else entirely.

This cheekily branded stress relief putty glows in the dark and is sprinkled with real dill.

Great for co-workers who get a little wound up, you can buy this stiff dill-dough from Fun Slurp at a price of $12.95.

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Porn For The Working Woman

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - porn for the working woman

Though the name suggests that this could be a XXX gift, this book is actually a very vanilla offering the working woman the porn she really wants!

With 40 seductive scenarios each with a glossy captioned photo featuring real hunks, these are office daydreams for any red-blooded woman.

Available to buy from Amazon for around $5, the publishers (Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative) have a large range to choose from.

Value Rating5/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

Candy G String & Nipple Tassles

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - candy g string and nipple tassels

A great novelty item made from the same kind of candy as those retro necklaces you used to have as kid, this G-String is a gift for the wearer and the person who gets to eat it off them!

An ideal way to help spice up foreplay, it makes sense to buy this for a partner but could make a great gag gift for a colleague who has a sweet tooth.

Available from most good online adult retailers you can pick up one of these delicious treats for around $12.99.

If you fancy completing the outfit for your Secret Santa recipient then why not consider picking up a matching pair of Candy Nipple Tassels too? An extra £8.99, they make a ‘sweet’ matching set!

Value Rating3/5
Naughtiness Rating4/5

Naughty/Nice Tumbler

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - naughty nice tumbler

This stylish and sleek stainless-steel vacuum insulated tumbler is a great gift for any friend of co-worker.

Good for either hot or cold drinks, the festive design includes the words ‘Naughty’ and ‘Nice’ so they can behave accordingly.

Available from Hustler Hollywood for a price of $24.

Value Rating1/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

Happy Stan Screwdriver

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - Happy Stan Screwdriver

Every woman needs her own toolkit around the office and this multitool gets a little excited about the prospect of helping out!

The perfect little handyman for any little screw job, it makes a practical but cheeky gift.

The winking Happy Stan is priced at around $9 and you can pick one up through retailers like Amazon.

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating2/5

Dirty Bitch Soap

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - dirty bitch soap

This ‘thoughtful’ gift comes with a cheeky bit of packaging and is embossed with the phrase ‘Dirty Bitch’.

A perfect way to scrub yourself clean of dirty thoughs, this is an ultra-naughty gift that’s perfect for only kind of woman.

You can pick up a bar of this dirty soap from Hustler Hollywood for just $8.00

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating4/5

50 Shades of Brown Book and Toilet Paper

Dirty Secret Santa Gifts 2021 - fifty shades of brown

Know someone who has an excellent sense of (toilet) humor?

This parody set of toilet roll and #2 Bestselling Book Fifty Shades of Brown is a great antidote to the tiresome trend of THAT notorious book.

We could only find this available through UK retailers but they do ship internationally or else its perfect for our European readers.

Available to buy from Find Me A Gift (UK) at a price of around £4.99 ($6.75).

Value Rating4/5
Naughtiness Rating1/5

Featured image via PxFuel.

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