Need some naughty ideas for a budget Christmas gift?
Secret Santa gifts can be an ideal opportunity to inject a little fun into the Christmas spirit. And we think there’s no reason why this Christmas tradition shouldn’t include some dirty ideas.
Whether you’re buying for a colleague, partner or friend, they can be a great way to introduce some naughtiness to an office party or social gathering.
In this guide we give you a rundown of some of cheekiest stocking fillers and dirty Secret Santa gifts for the festive season ahead.
- Unisex Secret Santa Gifts
- Pubic Hairstyles Novelty Mug
- Stressticles Stress Balls
- I Hate…Game
- Penis Pasta
- Draw A Dick On It Doodle Book
- Middle Finger Candle Holder
- Go The F**k to Sleep Book
- Cock Breath Mints
- Secret Santa Gifts for Him
- Inflatable Boob Slippers
- Santa’s World Famous Naughty Soap
- Merry Christmas, Asshole! Trail Mix
- Head Down Golf Tees
- Because You Probably Touched Your Junk Hand Sanitizer
- Novelty Christmas Condoms
- Inflatable Cockfighting
- Bicycle Ball Lamp
- Secret Santa Gifts for Her
Unisex Secret Santa Gifts
Not sure what to buy your Secret Santa this year, then let us help with a few dirty, naughty and cheeky gift ideas.
Pubic Hairstyles Novelty Mug
We think this cheeky novelty ‘Muff Mug’ is a perfect Secret Santa for either guys or girls.
Illustrating the evolution of pubic hair, the designs include The ‘Au Naturel’ and the ‘Vajazzle’.
Dishwasher and microwave safe, it’s a decent size and makes a talking point at coffee breaks.
Available from Lovehoney and priced at $12.99, this cheeky gift could make a great chart for comparing bushes.
Stressticles Stress Balls
A great gag gift for a co-worker, these stress balls have been designed to look like a pair of bollocks.
So whether or not the recipient is known as a ball-buster or just someone who would like to give the boss’s balls a good hard squeeze, they make an excellent Secret Santa gift.
Available from online retailers like the Inked Shop, you can pick up a pair of these stress relievers for around $10.
A game for 2-12 players, this little gift can be played as a forfeit or drinking game.
Can be pretty revealing among couples as well as colleagues, you basically have to try and work out what your team-members dislike most.
Priced at $21.95 and available from retailers like Lion’s Den, the I Hate… game is great for parties and is a subtle way to tell your Secret Santa that they’re a grumpy bastard!
A ubiquitous but useful dirty gag gift, penis pasta is a perfect way to inject a little harmless but naughty fun to the Secret Santa tradition.
Made from durum wheat, these little peckers are growers not showers and will certainly add some extra sauciness to mealtimes.
Could make an ideal stocking filler for a food-lover or just another way to tell someone they need more dick in their diet!
Available from plenty of adult stores near you, Lovehoney sell this pack at just $5.99.
Draw A Dick On It Doodle Book
A great gift idea for the rebellious Secret Santa recipient, this book challenges payers to doodle a penis on everyday objects.
From snowmen and milkshakes to Yetis and sandwiches, all you have to do is… (you’ve guessed it!) draw a dick on it!
A perfect choice of gift for that co-worker who’s always doodling during meetings, you can pick up a copy from retailers like Lion’s Den for around $12.
Middle Finger Candle Holder
There’s no end to the number of people who this dirty Secret Santa gift could be perfect for. It might be someone who’s always sticking the finger to the world or maybe it’s a person who you’d like to flip the bird to?
Whoever receives this gift though is going to get a high-quality solid concrete hand with a long tapered candle instead of a middle finger.
Available from retailers including Blue Seven, it’s not a cheap gift at $40 but it most certainly is a unique one.
Go The F**k to Sleep Book
A perfect gift for new parents, this hilarious and naughty alternative bedtime storybook is a godsend for sleep-deprived mums and dads everywhere.
Created by Adam Mansbach who is also responsible for writing F**k, Now There Are Two of You and You Have to F**king Eat, this beautifully illustrated book is a #1 New York Times Bestseller.
Although it’s not a sexy Secret Santa, it’s definitely a rude one and any grateful new parent will be delighted to receive it.
You can pick a copy up from Amazon for around $8.
Cock Breath Mints
There’s always someone whose breath stinks up an office like a polecat in a poke so this gift could be good for everyone.
Designed with a harmless rooster on the tin and containing 165 refreshing mints, who knew that cock also meant something else, right?
It’s a tongue in cheek kind of gift that should raise a few smiles.
Available from online retailers including Fun Slurp, this is a good budget gift at just $3.99.
Secret Santa Gifts for Him
Looking for a cheeky stocking filler or budget busting Secret Santa for a guy then these ideas could help.
Inflatable Boob Slippers
Know someone who is obsessed with big titties?
At 20” long, these bad boys are as big as they come.
Can be used to kick his ass with or just to let him enjoy some time with his own personal hooters, you can buy a set of these slippers from retailers like Bachelorette for around $7.50.
Santa’s World Famous Naughty Soap
If you know a man who belongs on the naughty list then this soap is ideal to help him clean away his conscience….and cock.
A perfect ring to polish his North Pole with, this novelty festive soap is a great gag gift.
Available to buy from online retailers including Amazon, you can pick one up one of these wiener cleaners for around $10.
Merry Christmas, Asshole! Trail Mix
For when you only have one thing to say to someone, there’s only way to say it….with trail mix!
A tongue-in-cheek bag of nuts labelled up with the perfect holiday greeting for when you just can’t bring yourself to say something nice.
Contains a spicy selection of almons, peanuts, pepitas, corn nuts and guacamole bits it’s a heartfelt gift for that asshole in your life.
Available to buy from Fun Slurp for $10.99.
Head Down Golf Tees
Drawn a golf love in the Secret Santa?
Then these novelty tees are a great little gift to help them improve their game.
The cheeky little bee-hinds will encourage them to keep their head down and may help focus their attention.
Available to buy from Amazon at a price of $6.99.
Because You Probably Touched Your Junk Hand Sanitizer
We’ve all met (or been) the guys whose hands spend longer down their pants than anywhere else.
And this next gift is an ideal way to say ‘WE SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING’!
It might not stop them from doing it but at least you’ll be making a point that it’s not sanitary.
Available to buy from Witty Yetis for $15 as a two-pack.
Novelty Christmas Condoms
Custom condoms are a great gift for guys who like to do things with a flourish.
Say It With A Condom design a whole range of novelty rubbers (all FDA approved) with some hilarious puns, gags and jokes.
We like their holiday themed ones but their Funny Range has some absolute corkers.
Alternatively or you can even design your own and this includes adding your own logo! Free advertising for the company anyone?
Know someone who swings his dick about a bit too much?
Then this game might be a great way to subtly tell them whilst adding some amusing potential to any office party.
Contains two giant inflatable penises for duelling with, this is an hilarious game to play but just as much fun to watch.
Available from retailers including Amazon for around $20, these 2’ dongs attach with Velcro belts for the ultimate party game.
Bicycle Ball Lamp
Know someone who cycles to work?
Then this dirty Secret Santa gift could be a perfect choice.
A practical and novel item, its an essential LED tail light with a difference. As well as warning traffic behind that there is a cyclist on the road, it also tells them that this guy has balls!
Attaches to any bicycle seat, there’s a range of color options available.
You can pick up a ball lamp for the cyclist on your Christmas gift list from Amazon at a price of just $12.
Secret Santa Gifts for Her
Stuck for ideas about what to get a female co-worker or friend in the Secret Santa draw?
We think these ideas should help you get started…
Boss Bitch Bath Bombs
No prizes for guessing who the perfect Secret Santa recipient for this gift would be?
But do you have the balls to give it?
This pair of extra-large bath bombs will treat someone to a luxury bath time, safe in the knowledge that they are the Ball-Busting Queen of the Office.
Available to buy from Fun Slurp for $11.95, these pink and black tub fizzers are handcrafted.
XL Dill Dough Stress Putty
There aren’t many women who would say no to an extra-large dildo but this is something else entirely.
This cheekily branded stress relief putty glows in the dark and is sprinkled with real dill.
Great for co-workers who get a little wound up, you can buy this stiff dill-dough from Fun Slurp at a price of $12.95.
Porn For The Working Woman
Though the name suggests that this could be a XXX gift, this book is actually a very vanilla offering the working woman the porn she really wants!
With 40 seductive scenarios each with a glossy captioned photo featuring real hunks, these are office daydreams for any red-blooded woman.
Available to buy from Amazon for around $5, the publishers (Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative) have a large range to choose from.
Candy G String & Nipple Tassles
A great novelty item made from the same kind of candy as those retro necklaces you used to have as kid, this G-String is a gift for the wearer and the person who gets to eat it off them!
An ideal way to help spice up foreplay, it makes sense to buy this for a partner but could make a great gag gift for a colleague who has a sweet tooth.
Available from most good online adult retailers you can pick up one of these delicious treats for around $12.99.
If you fancy completing the outfit for your Secret Santa recipient then why not consider picking up a matching pair of Candy Nipple Tassels too? An extra £8.99, they make a ‘sweet’ matching set!
This stylish and sleek stainless-steel vacuum insulated tumbler is a great gift for any friend of co-worker.
Good for either hot or cold drinks, the festive design includes the words ‘Naughty’ and ‘Nice’ so they can behave accordingly.
Available from Hustler Hollywood for a price of $24.
Happy Stan Screwdriver
Every woman needs her own toolkit around the office and this multitool gets a little excited about the prospect of helping out!
The perfect little handyman for any little screw job, it makes a practical but cheeky gift.
The winking Happy Stan is priced at around $9 and you can pick one up through retailers like Amazon.
Dirty Bitch Soap
This ‘thoughtful’ gift comes with a cheeky bit of packaging and is embossed with the phrase ‘Dirty Bitch’.
A perfect way to scrub yourself clean of dirty thoughs, this is an ultra-naughty gift that’s perfect for only kind of woman.
You can pick up a bar of this dirty soap from Hustler Hollywood for just $8.00
50 Shades of Brown Book and Toilet Paper
Know someone who has an excellent sense of (toilet) humor?
This parody set of toilet roll and #2 Bestselling Book Fifty Shades of Brown is a great antidote to the tiresome trend of THAT notorious book.
We could only find this available through UK retailers but they do ship internationally or else its perfect for our European readers.
Available to buy from Find Me A Gift (UK) at a price of around £4.99 ($6.75).
Featured image via PxFuel.